May my words also be free

Fighting Grace

2006-02-20T17:18:00.000-08:00

I was inspired by your fire.
tandalized by your verse.
Ready to march if you lead.
Feared..
the reprecussion of a born leader like us
possessed..
hunted..
and stalked
We rolled with you because we also
had that demon
ready to ride or die
fighting the angel on the other side.
"The Battle of Salvation"..
loosing the war against
"temptation"
fuck'n
kill'n
cheat'n
steal'n
"Hallelujah" if you hear me
Set me free.
fighting for grace in a world of sin.
fighting for salvation
when the flesh just wants to give in.
fight!!

**dedicated to Tupac Shakur

Hair?

2005-10-26T05:40:00.000-07:00

Cornrolls.
extensions.
dreadlocks.
A black woman, Am I not?
Smack mud in it, twist it up.
Lay hair in it, braid it up.
A black woman, Am I not?
Mother of the Universe.
Queen of the Nile.
So why should I be judged by my hairstyle.
A Black Woman
I'm I not?

(c)Tsehai
In memory of my sister Gail Davis

Caught................

2005-09-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

caught between them
caught between love
history with one
beginings with the other
How can I choose
between my two lovers
He has hurt me time and time again, but I always
gave in and allowed him back in
he fucks so right
he licks so long
but I'm almost convinced being with him is wrong
our spiritual connection
the years put in
always wondering if he was a lover, enemy or a friend.
Sophisticated, Fine...a seasoned Vet,
But then there is....
him
young,
motivating,
idealistic,
keeps my mind in check
we haven't consumated
he knows the deal
understands the veteran situation
and respects the whole deal
We flirt with fire.
six degrees of seperation
eight years of time
he holds me tight respecting the borderlines.
but sometimes we get lost in the thrill and the passion becomes to much
the conversation is like a seductive touch
He goes down on me and I flow like the the Nile
so young
so strong
he holds me down
going to town
eating
sucking
pulling
poking
I'm groaning
He's moaning
and we want more, but I'm
caught between lovers
caught between possibilities
caught wondering
where I'm at in this novel
the beginning
the end
or..................................

What If?

2005-09-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

....I could live my dream and my reality was a fantasy
....I made the clothes
instead of them making me
....God was a girl, the girl
of all our dreams
....I could be real with you
and you be real with me
....I was part of the cause
instead of being the cause
of destruction

....What if?

2005-08-15T17:06:00.000-07:00

I dream reality and live fantasy, but I can drink destiny...I'm anorexic.....I'm hungry, but I don't want to I can't keep it down...This fantasy has got my world turned upside down.

Symbol.....

2005-07-08T18:30:00.000-07:00

>

A piece from a fellow poet that says it all.......
YOUR
>Your kisses encircle my
>
> Your lips encircle my
>
> Your tongue, it tastes my
>
> Your voice awakens my
>
> Your spirit caresses my
>
> Your soul communes with my
>
> Your mind, it teaches my
>
> Your fragrance drunkens my
>
> Your fire, it soothes my
>
> Your fingers explore my
>
> Your whispers implore my
>
> Your heart, it adores my
>
> Your body pleases my
>
> Your hands, they're teasing my
>
> Your all belongs to my
>
> You're destined to be my

(c)by the talented Lady Mayala
>

Fed up and completely don't give a fuck!

2005-07-06T12:46:00.000-07:00

I have a lot to be greatful about. I'm finally legally single again! My children "seem" to be happy and I have a job with a lot of things to offer. Not to take all of this out of consideration, but bitches also be trip'n. Now a bitch could be anything or anyone, not just a female dog. I can, will be and have to a bitch myself sometimes, that's o.k. If you step out of line on me I'm going to let it fly full force back at you. No one including myself will ever build a solid foundation with god or anyone if you build it with insecurities and jealousy, selfishness and if you try to be cut throat to your own, unfair and ugly to your own, play little dumb ass games (and you know the little games you play). Now your own could be your kids, your nosey neighbor, your girlfriend from back in the day. So many times I find myself sitting back and laying low because the full force that will come at you won't come from me. It will come from the most high and it may even be for me. I pray about everything...people don't believe that, but I do. I'm greatful for my sadness, my happiness, my times of indecision, my times of great pain because I know there is purpose and reason in all of that. Sometimes that reason may not even be meant for me. I have deep thought and consideration in a majority of my endeavors...personally and socially. So I find myself in a dilemna.....do I sit back and let people treat their own like second class citizens or voice my opinion. I voice my opinion and if that is something you wouldn't have done. So be it. I don't always pick the second choice. Each decision should be made upon that situation. So I find myself at odds with a couple of people, who are on my shit list. Truthfully I know this is sad to say, but I really think about on a daily basis of slashing there damn tires, burning their house down and selling their punk asses for a pint of shrimp fried rice. I know that's bad, but that is how I truly feel. I'm feeling cut throat and ready to honestly let a bitch know what is on my mind. So if you say "fuck you" to me you better be ready to put your words in motion. I will pray on this and let things flow as they may. bitch to bitch. sacred child to sacred child. PEACE!!!!

Distinction?

2005-06-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

When we meet
How do I make the distinction...
of hot sex
from
I do's
delivery dates
and anniversary cakes
How do we make that distinction
of you being unthreatened by my growth
and me acknowledging your strength
Can you find me
in a garden filled with
golddigging weeds
high maintenance bees
and game play'n dandelions
cultivate my soul
with your intellect
your spiritual light
and I will bloom
bigger and brighter
year after year
cause I know no black man
not beautiful and strong
I know no black man
who doesn't belong on a throne
and when I see you
like that line in the color purple
"...I knew there was a God!"
So when we meet
black man
I've already made the distinction
You are the chosen one!
(c) by Tsehai

2005-06-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

I'm an Afrakan Woman and yet I feel so disconnected from that which encompasses me. Be true....really....that's all any of us can do. Be true!

2005-06-09T17:12:00.000-07:00

There was a lot of pundering on the most high today. From everything I read Jesus was a rebel. He talked to all the people, prostitues and priests alike. He called the people in power out and told them exactly what how the word pertained to them. He looked different and he was different. I bet if Jesus came back today, no one would believe her. They would probably put him in a mental institution. I don't know. Today is a day of thought potpourri. I have a job now and the people are great. There are so many different people. I've decided to try to do a documentary on different cultures. I want to be a "culture chamelion". I want to take a part of everybodies culture. It's almost like my view of all the different religions in the world. I don't think anyone is right or wrong as far as that goes, but I do think somehow, some way we all took a piece away from the whole. I've started over on my "book". Boy! It's amazing how good we can lie to ourselves. I've been celebate for more than two months now and I say it's not bothering me, but on some level it is. Hmmm....I don't truly know why I'm being celebate. I know I want to work on my spirituality and that I need this me time to figure out who I am, but who truly knows who they are? Am I doing it because I still have feelings for my ex? Maybe I'm doing it just because that is just what is being done right now. Maybe I'm way to deep. Just go with the flow. Yeah. I'll go with the flow and let the most high let it lead where ever it may lead. Yeah! That's the ticket!

Hellllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooo

2005-05-31T10:17:00.000-07:00

He was sentual......

2005-05-30T21:20:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Cincinnati and the weekend was a blast. I hooked up with majority of my family and friends. I also hooked up with the raingod and we went out. I was nervous and I drank a little to ease my nerves. I didn't know what I was going to say or what he was going to say or do, but it was all good. We talked so much, the bartender literally threw us out because it was like 2:30am and the bar was closed. He took me down but to this beautiful water walkway downtown. We talked and he held me and he kisseed me. DAMN! I haven't been kissed or held in so long, I literally melted. Fa-she-zee Ma-ne-zee! The raingod rained kisses on me that took me there. There you hear me, but I told him that I was on this journey and celebacey was part of the plan. He was such a gentleman, he listened and respected that. Whoa! It would figure that soon as I leave Toledo, I would hook up with this beautiful black King. It was good. What else can I say. Even after after god was done creating the earth in seven days, all he could simple say was....It was good! That phrase may be simple, but it says a whole lot you know. I don't know. He left a lasting impression. Maybe the timing was just right or the stars lined up just so. I can't call it. Is life just a sum of my experiences or what I evolve into after those experiences? I don't know. Stay tuned next week Tsehai finally learns how to masterbate.....lol. Just kidding!

Sexual Attraction

2005-05-29T16:47:00.000-07:00

I have been back in Toledo the whole holiday weekend and I have really enjoyed myself. I have to say that Toledo is better when you visit and whole a hell of a lot better leaving it. I don't know what is going on with me and my sex drive. There was a time when I didn't think about sex, but now I don't know what is going on. I haven't had sex in about two months now and I feel stimulated by the slightest touch. What is that? Why and what, when where and how is this happening to me? Hmmmm. I just analyze it and take it in for what it is and leave it at that. I could never masterbate and believe me I have tried, but I don't get any pleasure out of it. I need a beautiful black nubian man. I'm not in a rush for sex to happen. When the most high wants that to happen it will. I'm not going to rush it. I have meet some very interesting people, but nothing special. I'm not looking for anything special. Really I'm not looking at all, even with all the sexual stimulation. I don't want to make the same mistake twice.

2005-05-26T17:42:00.000-07:00

This man right here has ruined my life. Just look at him.

2005-05-26T13:26:00.000-07:00

Neo-Soul

Today I have a Neo-Soul (new soul)!

2005-05-26T12:16:00.000-07:00

I was very analytical about life today. I pundered my place in this universe and I wondered if I was O.K. I wondered if my lack of motivation to achieve the new house or the new car meant that I was lost. I think not! I'm motivated to make a difference only where it matters to me. I don't feel bad because I don't have the six figure salary or new caddilac, but I do feel bad because I haven't made a difference in the life of a child. I want to may a difference in the lives in our children. I want them to know it's alright to have nappy hair and dark chocolate skin. Bascially it's alright to be you, whatever or whoever that may be. I'm frustrated because I'm letting my own securities, my own drawbacks hold me back. I will be alright. I want my kids to have the best, but not at the expense of their souls!

Strive black girl
know you are not enough
but that which guides you is more.

I do appreciate it!

2005-05-25T11:06:00.000-07:00

I appreciate.....
menstration
dumb ass men
and dumb ass women
car breaking down
back stabbing
no sex (for the past almost two months)
spider crawling in my bed
family trip'n
kids whine'n
bush being in the white house
having no job
utilities past due
people not responding when I say "Hello"
no companionship
Why do we only think we're blessed if things go our way?
I appreciate it!

May my words also be free: Words Unlimited!

2005-05-23T18:25:00.000-07:00

May my words also be free: Words Unlimited!

2005-05-21T18:01:00.000-07:00

Me enjoying the energy of life

Words Unlimited!

2005-05-19T06:47:00.000-07:00

Hey...Hey...Hey..
Do whatever..
Be whatever..
but speak it loud.
move the crowd
and rock souls in the endeavor.

Tsehai